Yo bro! Diddy wants to party with 'friend' Sir Alex

* The changing rooms at Manchester United's Old Trafford ground will be particularly fragrant in the coming weeks. I hear the rapper P Diddy has sent the manager, Alex Ferguson, two cases of his cologne.

Assuming that Sir Alex does not want to use it all himself or flog it on eBay, he will no doubt share it with his players. Diddy has also invited the manager and playing staff to attend one of his UK tour dates at the end of March. This offers the prospect of Fergie - a dour red-nosed Scot known more for "hairdrying" the faces of his millionaire charges after a poor performance than for his rhymin' skills - dressing in a baggy tracksuit with knee-high crotch, shades and several kilos of diamonds, while hopping about a darkened arena.

"P Diddy is friends with Alex Ferguson and the players," insists a member of the rapper's entourage. "Someone told him that [Man United defender] Rio Ferdinand liked to play his music before games and that Sir Alex preferred classical. So he met them and Sir Alex was very friendly. P Diddy would like to see him in the audience."

They met in Copenhagen in October. Afore a wide-eyed Wayne Rooney, Fergie gave Diddy a Man U shirt. "He [Fergie] said I was an honorary member of the club," explained Diddy. "He understands who's who in hip-hop."

Treat that sentence as you will, but the two men are not so different: the childhood on the street (Diddy in Harlem, Alex in Glasgow's Govan), the straight-talking, the God complex...

* A biopic on Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis will reach cinema screens in September. The film, Control, is a "respectful" and "darker" account of the vocalist's life before joining the band and committing suicide in 1980, filmed mostly in Nottingham for its current resemblance to 70s Macclesfield.

Curtis's record boss, the legendary Factory and Haçienda nightclub owner Tony Wilson, is assistant producer. Wilson himself was played by Steve Coogan in 24 Hour Party People.

"I thought the chap who played Ian in that [Sean Harris] was very good, really excellent, but this new boy we have called Sam Riley is just absolutely fantastic," he tells Pandora. "Ian was a New Romantic who took inspiration from the Romantic poets. So like all Romantics, having films made about their lives - I think it was a little bit expected."

Samantha Morton is Curtis's wife, Deborah.

* Plaudits from the critics for Daniel Radcliffe's stage debut in Equus. But what, pray, thought the slebs at the opening night, among them Richard E Grant, Christian Slater, Stephen Poliakoff and Samantha Morton?

Bob Geldof seemed a little underwhelmed when Pandora ran into him at the interval. "I saw the original production of Equus in 1973 and was really impressed first time," he said. "But this talk of socialism, self-improvement and religion sounds a bit old now - it reeks of the 60s. Although the second half is better."

The play's author Peter Shaffer "thought it beautifully directed. Daniel Radcliffe is terrific, considering this is his first performance ever on the stage." Helena Bonham Carter, meanwhile, tackled the elephant in the corner, the nudity from Harry Potter star Radcliffe."Daniel has such balls, he really does," she laughed. "In every way. Good on him, I can't think of something to make one more vulnerable than being 17, a male, having to strip off and to do such a hard piece. Psychologically."

* Spotted! The Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell dining à deux yesterday lunchtime in the National Liberal Club, Embankment.

His table companion? None other than his erstwhile predecessor, Mr "Chatshow" Charlie Kennedy. The metaphor "house on fire" is better suited to describing the current state of their party than the relationship between the two men.

Friday marks Ming's first-year anniversary as Lib Dem commander-in-chief, an occasion not heralded by any clamour for celebration. Kennedy, like other senior Lib Dems, is thought to be restless about the party's plummet in the polls.

Ming denies that Chatshow came to lunch to offer rescue pointers.

Waiter! Two orange juices!

* I hear of another man uncomfortable about the arrival of the 7ft 4in bronze of Maggie in Westminster's Member's Lobby (following the complaint by leftie MP Stephen Hepburn about this celebration of Maggie's "cruel and divisive reign"). The imposing statue is said to point into the debating chamber, scene of so many of Maggie's victories. Not so. In fact it points directly at a chap called Dale, who stands in the corner.

Dale is the badge messenger; his job is to loiter by the message board to alert passing MPs when they have mail. Dale feels extremely disturbed by Thatcher pointing at him all day, however, and has been observed nervously shuffling out of the dreaded trajectory and away from his post. His job has become rather difficult.

pandora@independent.co.uk

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