Forget Blair: Morrissey's the man to heal Middle East

* Might we finally have found an envoy to soothe the troublesome types in Iran?

The singer Morrissey last year contended that Bush and Blair's invasion of Iraq was "worse than terrorism... the action of egotistical monsters". Now, he reveals, he hopes to play a concert in Iran later this year.

The former Smiths frontman commented: "There are some great touring offers: New Zealand, South Africa, my beloved Scandinavia, Israel and Iran. I would love to sing in Tehran."

His spokesman, the improbably-monikered Mr Merck Mercuriadis, tells Pandora that Morrissey is "currently reviewing offers we've had - one of them is from Iran".

He added: "We're talking to the Foreign Office about travel guidelines."

It is unclear what kind of fanbase Morrissey believes exists in the Persian Gulf. Damien Hirst has led a "Britart diplomatic mission" to Iran but a pop concert would be far more problematic.

"It is likely that dancing would not be allowed," one Iranian tells me. (Dancing? Have you been to a Morrissey gig?) "And all of his song lyrics would need to be heavily vetted before he's granted permission. It would be very strictly controlled. Maybe he doesn't realise that because I can't see them being very promising conditions for a Western artist."

Mercuriadis comments: "I'm not aware of any censorship or anything like that but we're still at an early stage in planning. I'll let you know when it's confirmed."

* George Galloway, I hear, is setting himself up as a sort of East End version of the Glastonbury Festival mogul/dairy farmer Michael Eavis.

The MP for Bethnal Green and Bow has turned to event promoting, organising a "Day for Che" this autumn to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the execution of Che Guevara.

On 8 October (it may be a day early but some dispute the date the Argentine Marxist was shot), Gorgeous plans to draw 2,000 modern-day revolutionaries/bean eaters to the Forum at Chalk Farm, for speeches, discussion, a showing of The Motorcycle Diaries and then a pop concert in the evening.

Guevara's son, Camilo, has reportedly said that he would like to attend. Galloway promises all proceeds to the Music Fund for Cuba, which plans to help renovate the Teatro Miramar in Havana.

There will, his spokesman says, be none of this 19- people-sleeping-in-six- inches-of-fetid-water-in-a-tent rubbish: "We'll have a 'Guaranteed No Wellies' policy."

* Ahead of the band's Sunday appointment in the mud of Glastonbury, the Manic Street Preachers' bass player, Nicky Wire has issued an 'umble apology to the Festival's regulars.

In 1994, miseryguts Wire announced on stage: "They should build a bypass over this shithole." The crowd noise stopped. A tumbleweed could reportedly be heard twirling across the fields. His comment was only marginally less unpopular than his 1992 wish of death-by-Aids on REM singer Michael Stipe.

The Glasto comment "was supposed to be a joke," Wire explains to the NME. "As I was saying it I thought, 'This is going to be really funny.' Then this deathly silence descended on the place. Back then it felt like we were aliens whizzed in from Wales with absolutely nothing in common with anyone else there."

* If Monday's Pandora column bears a different byline, you will know that the shadow home secretary David Davis has been waiting for me in the shrubbery outside Independent House with his SAS hunting knife.

I was slightly concerned yesterday afternoon, after my story about the "revolving door" in his office (six staff have departed since early 2006), to find that another of his employees appeared not to be contactable Chez DD. The blogger Guido Fawkes was reporting that Alivia Kratke, a researcher, had left.

Says Davis's spokesman: "I've spoken to David. [Guido's story] is completely untrue and we're not going to comment further. Anyone who chooses to do so does so at their own risk."

Kratke, meanwhile, is reportedly consulting employment solicitors.

* Watch yourself: don't get injured in the crush at your nearest arts picture house. Die Hard 4.0 - aka Live Free or Die Hard - premiered in Leicester Square on Wednesday night.

Bruce Willis's hard-drinking character John McClane has often been found reaching for the aspirin. And Willis says that he is also fond of popping little white pills off-screen.

"I love making action films because of the Tic Tacs," he told bemused film reporters. "You get free Tic Tacs wherever you go."

Every sweaty action man needs his minty-fresh breath, of course, but it is a peculiar comment. I suspect that the whopping £15m he can reportedly command for such blockbusters tastes sweeter.

pandora@independent.co.uk

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